Five Tips On How To Discuss Problems In The Family

The challenge

 You and your mate don’t agree when you discuss your problems  and your relationship is severed. To work on this you need to know how men and women communicate.

For Women

Women like to be listened to before they hear the solution. Sometimes just talking solves it all. This makes them feel better and they could even get over the problem within minutes. It gives them closure and when they talk, its easier to analyse then situation and get to the bottom of it.

For Men

Men mostly think in terms of solutions. We can relate to this because fixing things makes men feel useful. So by offering a solution, he is showing his wife that she can rely on him for help. Therefore husband’s are disconcerted when their solutions are not accepted. But “understanding must precede advice”. You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empaize with the dilemma before you suggest a solution. Often times your spouse isnt asking for solution at all. Just be a good listener.

Action plan/Tips

For men

– Practice listening. You may feel it accomplishes nothing but most times what women really do need is a listening ear. Its best to let you wife express herself without interrupting and when she’s done, she’ll feel much better.

– When you have a conversation, try not to give unsolicited advice, make good eye contact and concentrate on what she says. Nod in agreement.

– Repeat the main points so as to reaffirm that you were listening and also that you understand it all.

For Women

express yourself. Do not always expect your mate to just know how you feel or what you need. You sometimes need to spell it out.

– If your husband happens to offer unsolicited solutions, it does not mean that he is not sensitive. He may just be trying to lighten your burden. Instead of getting angry, try to see his care and his desire to help.

For both

Treat each other the way you want to be treated. To discuss problems effectively consider how your mate would want to be treated. A man should be ready to listen and a wife should be willing to hear solutions sometimes. That way both of them can benefit.

 

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